Two people got together, let's call them B & P. B (me, btw) can be quite insecure in relationships and can take that out on people in a very bitchy way.
B knows that her insecurities stem primarily from her parent's divorce.
P's "issues" come from constantly being in his head, not always being present and actively listening. When he's always in his head, he can think negatively about himself, making him need external validation and become emotionally needy.
To resolve our issues, I've been thinking a lot about the 5 Love Languages. P shows he cares using physical touch, words of affirmation, and gifts. I show I care by spending quality time with a person (especially listening), physical touch, and words of affirmation. The 5 love languages reminds me that P shows he cares in other ways.
It is not surprising that I can get quite frustrated when P doesn't listen to me or remember things that happen in my life. It hurts that P sometimes does not realize that I need help just as much as he needs help.When I feel this way, it's important for me to to conduct a detailed self-analysis. When I cannot tell P how I feel for whatever reason, I resort to other forms of communicating my feelings: resentment, distance, short-temper.
Resolve
I want to work on my short-temper. Basically, to stop being a bitch when I get frustrated with myself and how I'm feeling. I want to do the following things:
-being self-aware of my temper
-writing how I'm feeling to be able to distance myself and give perspective
-vent to a friend
-use music (heyyy Westlife)
-Clean because it moves my focus to something quite intense.
-Communicate how I'm feeling with less intensity
When I get frustrated with P, I want to remind myself about who I am and why I'm doing what I'm doing. Basically, why I am with P.Cos he's smart and hot.
I am not able to control P's behavior, but I can control mine. I want to be better at giving P verbal cues (i.e., "this is really important, please listen to me"), and/or making an events calendar so he remembers things that happen in my life.
Final reminder: I am this wonderful organizer person who gets stuff done. I am able to create situations where what I want to happen can happen.
B knows that her insecurities stem primarily from her parent's divorce.
P's "issues" come from constantly being in his head, not always being present and actively listening. When he's always in his head, he can think negatively about himself, making him need external validation and become emotionally needy.
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| Oreo = Interracial dating lol |
To resolve our issues, I've been thinking a lot about the 5 Love Languages. P shows he cares using physical touch, words of affirmation, and gifts. I show I care by spending quality time with a person (especially listening), physical touch, and words of affirmation. The 5 love languages reminds me that P shows he cares in other ways.
It is not surprising that I can get quite frustrated when P doesn't listen to me or remember things that happen in my life. It hurts that P sometimes does not realize that I need help just as much as he needs help.When I feel this way, it's important for me to to conduct a detailed self-analysis. When I cannot tell P how I feel for whatever reason, I resort to other forms of communicating my feelings: resentment, distance, short-temper.
Resolve
I want to work on my short-temper. Basically, to stop being a bitch when I get frustrated with myself and how I'm feeling. I want to do the following things:
-being self-aware of my temper
-writing how I'm feeling to be able to distance myself and give perspective
-vent to a friend
-use music (heyyy Westlife)
-Clean because it moves my focus to something quite intense.
-Communicate how I'm feeling with less intensity
When I get frustrated with P, I want to remind myself about who I am and why I'm doing what I'm doing. Basically, why I am with P.
I am not able to control P's behavior, but I can control mine. I want to be better at giving P verbal cues (i.e., "this is really important, please listen to me"), and/or making an events calendar so he remembers things that happen in my life.
Final reminder: I am this wonderful organizer person who gets stuff done. I am able to create situations where what I want to happen can happen.
