Over the past few days, I've been thinking a lot about relocation. It has come up in two conversations with friends of mine. I can definitely relate because I have lived in Nigeria, Botswana, the United States, and Canada.
My mum was the mobile one who wanted to teach around the world. My dad, a lawyer, moved with her. I have to say, my parent's situation was quite different. We lived in a tumultuous part of Nigeria, and they absolutely needed to move.
The question is: Would I move for a significant order?
On first glance, yes. Yes, because I don't want to end up like my mum. She's great, however, moving across the world for career related reasons has not resulted in happiness in her personal life.
I'm 23, but I've decided at an early age that I would put a committed relationship with a person I love first. Meaning that person is my number 1 priority (note: family and friends are somewhat number 1 too). I consider myself a very ambitious person, however I know that there will always be better opportunities out there, but I can't always expect my partner to choose to move with me because of my ambitions.
But, I also have to think of my dad. Moving around the world with my mom made him resentful. Understandably so. He went from owner of a successful law firm to a lawyer with credentials that are barely recognized in a foreign country.
What would I choose? Career over relationship?
I guess I can't really say. Something I want to do differently from my dad is making sure I would want to live in that country without my significant other in mind. Would I want to live in this country/state if my significant other was not in the picture?
This depends on career options, cost of living, proximity to friends and family, etc.
Something else to consider: What the future holds? Being in academia meant that my mom had the option of moving around a lot. I would not want to be in situation where a few years down the road, I am being asked to move again.
Also, does this person make me a priority. What would they do if the situation was reverse?
Things I will not consider: long distance for extended periods of time (i.e. over 4 months)
My motto: I don't just end up with someone. I choose to stay with them. Life changes can happen and it could be easier to break up, but I choose not to. I choose to work through it, compromise, and try to make things work.
My mum was the mobile one who wanted to teach around the world. My dad, a lawyer, moved with her. I have to say, my parent's situation was quite different. We lived in a tumultuous part of Nigeria, and they absolutely needed to move.
The question is: Would I move for a significant order?
On first glance, yes. Yes, because I don't want to end up like my mum. She's great, however, moving across the world for career related reasons has not resulted in happiness in her personal life.
I'm 23, but I've decided at an early age that I would put a committed relationship with a person I love first. Meaning that person is my number 1 priority (note: family and friends are somewhat number 1 too). I consider myself a very ambitious person, however I know that there will always be better opportunities out there, but I can't always expect my partner to choose to move with me because of my ambitions.
But, I also have to think of my dad. Moving around the world with my mom made him resentful. Understandably so. He went from owner of a successful law firm to a lawyer with credentials that are barely recognized in a foreign country.
What would I choose? Career over relationship?
I guess I can't really say. Something I want to do differently from my dad is making sure I would want to live in that country without my significant other in mind. Would I want to live in this country/state if my significant other was not in the picture?
This depends on career options, cost of living, proximity to friends and family, etc.
Something else to consider: What the future holds? Being in academia meant that my mom had the option of moving around a lot. I would not want to be in situation where a few years down the road, I am being asked to move again.
Also, does this person make me a priority. What would they do if the situation was reverse?
Things I will not consider: long distance for extended periods of time (i.e. over 4 months)
"The way it starts out is the way it ends up."
My motto: I don't just end up with someone. I choose to stay with them. Life changes can happen and it could be easier to break up, but I choose not to. I choose to work through it, compromise, and try to make things work.
