Allies are wonderful in many ways. Allies provide awesome support in struggles for equality but boundaries should always be respected. Some allies just suck and hopefully this post is a teachable moment for allies. Thanks to Angry Black Woman for some great tips.
These guidelines apply to POC folks as well who may find themselves as allies in many situations. In my experience, in order to foster a respectful space, allies should consider the following:
1. Do not derail a discussion. We all have opinions, some of us feel more comfortable sharing them. It's not about you, please allow 'us' to continue our conversation.
2. Read up 'stuff' that is brought up in a discussion that you're not familiar with. Basically, educate yourself.
3. Similar to point 1, your feelings won't be a priority and you may feel left out or offended, feel free to ask for clarification then get over it.
4. DO NOT make it a hierarchy of opression. I understand that as POC folks, we often have similar experiences, if you feel the need to remind everyone, do so in a respectful way. Don't compare my oppression to yours. The fact that you're Indian doesn't mean you understand what it is to be black. But remember, as an ally, it's not about you so do not derail the conversation.
5. The fact that you're an ally does not make you part of the group (duh) and does not guarantee you access into the group.
6. If I tell you you're derailing the conversation, or being ignorant or simply irrelevant, I'm probably right. You may want to get over it.
6. Don't act like you know what's good for us, and what we should do better in our 'struggle'. You don't and that's why you're an ally #enoughsaid
7. Be yourself and express your feelings (in a respectful, non-derailing way).
These guidelines apply to POC folks as well who may find themselves as allies in many situations. In my experience, in order to foster a respectful space, allies should consider the following:
1. Do not derail a discussion. We all have opinions, some of us feel more comfortable sharing them. It's not about you, please allow 'us' to continue our conversation.
2. Read up 'stuff' that is brought up in a discussion that you're not familiar with. Basically, educate yourself.
3. Similar to point 1, your feelings won't be a priority and you may feel left out or offended, feel free to ask for clarification then get over it.
4. DO NOT make it a hierarchy of opression. I understand that as POC folks, we often have similar experiences, if you feel the need to remind everyone, do so in a respectful way. Don't compare my oppression to yours. The fact that you're Indian doesn't mean you understand what it is to be black. But remember, as an ally, it's not about you so do not derail the conversation.
5. The fact that you're an ally does not make you part of the group (duh) and does not guarantee you access into the group.
6. If I tell you you're derailing the conversation, or being ignorant or simply irrelevant, I'm probably right. You may want to get over it.
6. Don't act like you know what's good for us, and what we should do better in our 'struggle'. You don't and that's why you're an ally #enoughsaid
7. Be yourself and express your feelings (in a respectful, non-derailing way).
